In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
