if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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