I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
