sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
