Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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