He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
