Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
