I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
