You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
