i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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