I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
