What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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