I faked an abortion last night.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
