I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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