the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
