Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
