He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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