Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize