woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
