We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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