Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
