The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
