he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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