He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
