why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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