Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
