I think I am morally bankrupt
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
