i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
