How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
