No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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