she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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