OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
