I'm really into asian looking animals
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
