Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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