ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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