We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Watching her eat just hurts me
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
