vagina is talking i cant
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
