Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
