You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
