i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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