so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
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