Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
