elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
