Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
