you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
