as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
