She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So squirting runs in the family.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
