remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
17 year olds will be the death of me.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
