He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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