you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Randomize
