i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
there was a trapeze. enough said
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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