I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
